After getting pregnant, Jane’s boyfriend came clean on how he wasn’t a secondary school teacher but an office messenger.
She says this broke her heart as she was a degree holder and he was a senior three drop out. Just like Jane, many partners discover this after they are way past turning back in their relationship.
Do you know the person you are dating?
Relationship counselors, parents and couples share the necessary personal details you need to know about your partner.
What do they do?
Jane was very lucky that her boyfriend is an office messenger but what if yours is a serial killer, prostitute or armed robber?
Mercy Nyanjura, notes that you can tell who your partner is by knowing the kind of friends he hangs out with, life style, kind of messages he/she receives on their phone among others.
“A person will always keep company with people of his/her kind. You can also investigate because this is your life. If he tells you he is a teacher or HR in a certain company, go to that company and ask anyone without him knowing,”she says.
She adds that a person will always talk about the things they do, so from their conversation you can get to know a lot about them.
We have seen girls losing it after discovering that a man they are dating has a family with kids of their age. This can be avoided if you take time to talk to your partner’s relatives and close associates.
Know where his/her home is and try to know a little more about them, leave alone what they feed into your imagination.
“So many people think trying to dig your partner’s particulars is being nosy but do you know that under looking certain matters could affect your life forever?” asks Mercy.
Though you can’t change who your partner’s friends are, you can tell so much about a person through the friends they have or make. Befriend those friends and try to be part of them.
This is the easiest way to know someone.
Jane notes that most people fear asking their partners personal questions like ‘do you own this house?’, ‘how much do you earn?’, ‘where do you work?’, thinking they may sound materialistic but this is necessary for future planning.
For example if the house is not his, you can join efforts to build one.
“I would also advise people to be open to the people they are dating so that someone loves you for who you really are not what they think or believe you are,” says Jane.
What does he/she like
Most people break up because they don’t understand each other.
Try to know the person’s behavior, what makes them happy, sad, angry among others. Learn their faults and figure out how to go about them.
“How do you expect a marriage/relationship to work when the two partners don’t have anything like a common ground for what they like, believe in or dream of doing?
Eventually each one of them will drift off to look for someone else who enjoys something like them. That will be the beginning of the proverbial ‘irreconcilable differences’ end, because everyone is trying to be happy outside their union,” explains Mercy.