Sharon Kahunde, 45 accepted to be a surrogate mother due to her financial struggles and being in a foreign land, she carried their babies at a reasonable price.
However Sharon notes that she never wanted to hand them the babies due to the bond they had. She shares her story with Chimp Reports’ Sarah Karungi.
I left Uganda to work as a nurse in an outside country because I was earning peanuts here yet I had so much responsibility at home. While there, a doctor in the hospital I worked who knew my financial issues told me his long term patient wanted a surrogate mother to carry for her a child.
After a week of contemplating and reading about surrogate mothers and what it really meant to be one, I agreed to the plan because the money involved was enticing and I need it.
During the whole process of signing contracts, I never met the couple though I was told it was a young African woman who couldn’t give birth due to hypertension.
Some of the articles in the contract were; we didn’t have to meet, I wasn’t supposed to leave the country or the house premises without permission, was supposed to stop working and give the pregnancy ample time. After a few medical test, the doctor discovered that my body was okay to carry a child.
After signing the contract, half of the money was deposited on my account and the other half was to be paid after delivery, I went through the medical process twice as the first one didn’t work. Instead of one, they were two.
The couple was lenient enough to add me more money as it would more delicate carrying two children.
Journey to motherhood
The first three months were tough, it was my first pregnancy and everything was new, the nausea and fatigue did me bad and the fact that I was carrying someone’s babies, I had to be extra careful at all times.
I was supposed to go to gym even when I felt down sometimes, I had a nutritionist and had to feed on a certain type of food and I was never to eat junk.
At around five months, I started feeling the joy of motherhood especially the few times I went to scan, seeing the two babies bouncing in my stomach gave me a smile on my face.
I even started talking to them and the few kicks gave me joy, one thing that hurts me is that I wasn’t able to know their sex. I went through all the necessary antenatal visits until the last month.
I gave birth at eight months and a half. My intention was having a normal birth since I feared being operated on but this wasn’t possible, my cervix couldn’t open so I had to be rushed to the theater after a few attempts to push. It was a traumatizing experience, I was scared and tired due to labor pains.
The last thing I remembered was the doctor telling me to sit upright with my back facing him.
Waking up to no child
Getting back to normal, I was a lone in the room, a few minutes later, the doctor walked in and handed me a check of the balance as we had agreed. I asked about the children, their health and how they looked and his only reply was,
“They are fine and with their parents now,” I felt so bad, the children might not have been mine but I was so attached to them already, if given a chance, I would have never handed them to their parents.
I was very disappointed that I couldn’t hold the babies who gave me the first experience and joy of motherhood.
I returned home after a month with a lot of money but I couldn’t forget my babies. I would sometimes hear babies crying and had to go through a few counseling sessions.
I decided to come back to Uganda after six months to make myself busy, I went into self-employment, bought land and built a house and started a fresh. I got married three years later and now have two children and surprisingly twins.
However the permanent scar they left on my body can never let me forget them. It has now been twenty years, but every time I see the scar on my belly, I wonder how they could be looking and do they know some other person carried them and is dying to know how they are doing.